mooshoe

March 24, 2004

books, magazines, DVDs, oh my!

Tired of hearing folks gab about how great/fantastic/totally awesome their day went? Too bad.

Today was the best sick day ever. Well, yesterday should have been my sick day as I was hacking up phlegm and croaking out questions in a bare whisper. I took today off just as a precaution. That and it was supposed to be 60 degrees today.

I woke up at my usual time for work to make The Call. Testing my voice a few seconds before dialing, I achieved just the right amount of 'scratchy' in the vocal cords to invoke sympathy from the coworker on the other end. "Yeah, I don't think I should come into work today--yes I'm feeling worse than I did yesterday [hack hack]. Mmm hm, yeah sure thing--yeah I should drink more tea..."

An hour later, my honey and I were ordering eggs benedict at the Uptown Diner. No, the new Uptown Diner. No no, the newest one at its latest loca--oh never mind. Eggs bennie were scrumptious.

The boyfriend left for work and I rendezvoused with another love: book stores. At Border's, I picked up a colossal-sized thesaurus. (Where do you think I got 'colossal'?) Bought two shiny new magazines, Vodka (premier issue) and Wallpaper Navigator. The name 'Vodka' caught my eye. The fresh designs made me pause to thumb through it. A mix of article topics like Korean cinema, porn queens and tapas pushed me to buy it. I bought the Wallpaper 'cause it includes "the world's coolest cities." Urban Nirvana. Salivation Central. If I can't be there in body, at least I can be there in glorious, 4-color, glossied spirit.

Popped into Booksmart and loaded up on enough memoirs to last me through the summer. I checked out Via's Vintage wear for the first time. I don't use this word too often, but it's very fitting (no pun intended); It's fabulous. Not a lover of all-things-vintage, I do, however, adore the clean A-lines of 50s and 60s dresses. Loud, tacky designs I can live without. Slurped down a refreshing strawberry/banana smoothie from Caribou and I was back at my doorstep. And who do I find crouching in my mailbox? Tarantino, Depp, Hope Davis, Alexander Payne! Four juicy films sent from netflix. And hey, no bills!

I--I don't know where to start. Magazines, no, a book! No, a movie--no, magazine... [smacking lips] maybe I want some salt and vinegar chips.

bet Hank's narrow urethra couldn't do this


Where does CityPages get these links? For those arcticly-challenged, you too can experience what peeing in the snow is like. For those shaking your head at resorting to bathroom humor, it can't be helped. It's what happens when you watch one too many of Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Animations.

March 23, 2004

rediscovering old jeans

With joy, I discover I can slide them off without unbuttoning!

With remorse, I realize I bought them a size larger than usual.

March 22, 2004

kitty story #2

How often do my kitties nap?

About two hours more than my boyfriend wishes he could.

bad, bad kitty

It's my fault for leaving them out. It's their fault for not knowing better. I come home to find my hotdog buns strewn across the living room floor. Milo is sleeping and Zoe is hiding in the bathroom.

Damn kitties.

Guess I should invest in a bread box.

I can't believe I just said that.

March 17, 2004

game crazy

Want to waste precious time at home/work? Try shooting some kitties, brought to you by the fine mind of KB. Find that killing kitties is too cruel? Try penguins. There are a few 18+ games that might raise some eyebrows. If shooting, hitting, slapping or knocking down stuff isn't your game, try a couple of jigsaw puzzles.

March 16, 2004

fresh laundry and cigarettes

Well, how about that! E has written a new entry for the writing project, shoots & latters. Who will take the bait and write the next episode? Gotta be quick or else I'll take it up tonight!

March 05, 2004

evil invasion

You sit there, rubbing your hands together as the money rolls in, shrieking with girly, high-pitched laughter. You claim your evil doings are for practicing "life skills" like "goal setting" and "teamwork," but I know you're only looking out for two things: you and your little green skirt. So leave, before you do any more damage to the poor, the innocent. Stop darkening our doorsteps. Our society can't protect itself against your cruel assualts any longer.

Go. Leave. Be gone!

And take your damn boxes of Shortbread, thin mints and samoa cookies with you.

March 01, 2004

my new officemate